even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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