Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
