I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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