so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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