Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
