He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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