I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
