i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
