you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Enjoy the penises
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
