i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
