I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
