You just made me feel so damn special
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
