How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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