they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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