no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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