it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
