The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
