i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize