ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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