I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize