Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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