I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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