I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
