? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
