so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
