I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
