You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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