Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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