Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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