Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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