the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
