party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
