Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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