he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
