She's JV to your varsity
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
