Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize