Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
