Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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