dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize