all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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