Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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