The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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