my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
