...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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