Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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