walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
