I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
