My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
