was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
