There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
