A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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