A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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