her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
