Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
