I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize