Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i've created a new STD.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
