I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
