Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
