Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
