so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize