i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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