honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
this will be a night to untag.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
