i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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