what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
