Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i believe in u and ur pee
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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