I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
