You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
