my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
