i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
