You just made me feel so damn special
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
