I wanna bring you to show and tell
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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