He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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