so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize