I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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