david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
