Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
