I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
