Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
