the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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