I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize